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Memorable Quotes from
"The Fairly OddParents" (2001)[Cosmo and Wanda are talking to alien]
Cosmo: The good news is, I named my nickel Phillip.
Timmy Turner: Uh, what's the bad news?
Cosmo: It's a girl nickel.
Dad Turner: Why don't I get to go to the nice klink?
Mom Turner: Timmy, you know you're not supposed to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day.
[Mom Turner and Dad Turner are in a tank]
Mom Turner: Wasn't that the Dinkleburgs' car?
Dad Turner: I hope so, that's what I was aiming for.
[the holiday mascots are talking about what they do]
Cupid: Well, I make kids fall in love.
Kids: EW.
Cupid: Point taken.
Wanda: Two wrongs don't make a right.
Cosmo: But three rights make a left and now it's time for the show!
Wanda: The good news is the alien we got you is prince of a distant planet whose parents are coming to destroy the earth.
Timmy Turner: What's the bad news?
Wanda: Oh, wait, that WAS the bad news.
Timmy Turner: Then what's the good news?
Cosmo: I found a nickel.
Cosmo: Not Vicky.
Wanda: Icky with a V.
Denzel Crocker: But they're no match for my fairy detector chair. If they survive, THEY'RE FAIRIES. And if they don't, I HAVE TENURE.
Cosmo: Let's get one thing straight. I'm not bright. Big words confuse me. I have the attention span of a rodent, and Wanda
loves me anyway. And that should be enough for you.
Timmy Turner: Hi. I'm Timmy. I have a short attention span and...
[walks away]
Wanda: You made your dad cry.
Cosmo: Yeah. Usually it takes a monkey or a bowl of pudding to do that.
[Re: chores]
Cosmo: You could melt it wall with heat vision.
Wanda: Or you could wish for the chores to be done.
Timmy Turner: That's a good idea. I wish...
Cosmo: OR you could melt it, with HEAT VISION.
Timmy Turner: Gotta go with superpowers.
Young Bill Gates: I'll connect all the computers in the world. I'll call it the internet.
Cosmo: That's silly! You should call it the Timmy.
Young Bill Gates: Okay!
Timmy Turner: [after going back in time and Cosmo tells the Young Bill Gates to call the internet the Timmy] Hey,
Dad, whatchya doin?
Dad Turner: Just looking for a new trophy of the Timmy computer network.
Timmy Turner: Hey guys, what's new?
[Cosmo lights candles under water]
Wanda: The laws of physics.
[Trying to satisfy Jorgen Van Strangle with a slide show]
Cosmo: ...And this is us cowering in fear 2 minutes ago, and this is us cowering in fear 1 minute ago, and this is us cowering
in fear 30 seconds...
[after being turned into a turtle by Wanda's ex boyfriend]
Cosmo: Revenge. REEVVEENGGE.
[after having his hand kissed by Wanda's ex]
Cosmo: That's my hand bub, and I don't need magic to turn it into a fist.
[Tries unsuccessfully]
[after being turned into a turtle and found by a hungry boy]
Wandisimo: No. I am too sexy to eat.
Dad: Egad.
Timmy Turner: Yay. since there's no girls around i can do whatever i want.
[Farts]
Timmy Turner: Freedom.
[Cosmo sniffs the air]
Cosmo: Freedom stinks.
Wanda: And Cosmo still hasn't gotten over Super Toilet...
Cosmo: It took the plunger, the whole plunger.
[Cosmo curls into fetal position and sucks thumb]
[after his knowledge has been sucked out]
Timmy Turner: What's going on? I don't know anything anymore.
Cosmo: Welcome to my world.
Timmy Turner: Cool, I have five o'clock shadow.
Cosmo: And it's only 7 am.
Timmy Turner: Dogs have great sense of smell, they can see in black and white, and they can go to the bathroom any where they want.
Cosmo: So can I, I'm just polite.
Cosmo: I married the smart one.
Wanda: I married the... well he's cute, right?
Cosmo: This episode has been brought to you by the society for healthy colons.
Cosmo: If Wanda sees this, she's gonna think I'm an idiot.
Timmy Turner: And this would be news to her *how*?
Timmy Turner: Boring conversation. Can't focus.
[Timmy throws a water balloon at someone, which misses its target and ends up hitting someone in France]
The French: We surrender.
Wandisimo: Can it be? Wanda the love of my life who I lost to Cosmo who I lost when he married you so you'd stay lost to me?
Cosmo: [because Wanda is dressed as a pancreas]
[grinning]
Cosmo: You can be removed?
Wanda: Uh-oh... my "Cosmo is going to make Timmy dead" sense is tingling.
Chester's Dad: [crying] Without that tooth, you look just like your momma.
Norm the Genie: [about Canada]
[darkly]
Norm the Genie: They've had it too good for too long.
Norm the Genie: Hold on there, Hunch Back of I've-Never-Spoken-To-A-Dame.
[repeated line]
Denzel Crocker: [shouts] Fairly godparents!
Principal Waxelplax: [after Timmy has won the election and the kids have come back from getting food poisoning from cake]
So, Timmy, what do you say to having all the responsibilities of president?
Timmy Turner: Piece of cake!
[all kids get sick and their faces turn green]
Mom Turner: Timmy, you know how your dad gets around people who are on money.
[repeated line]
George Washington: Must... chop... WOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD.
Cosmo: That's what got me on probation.
Trixie Tang: You're 0.01% more of a person in my eyes.
Cosmo: Now will you hold me?
Mark, the Alien: I am a warrior prince from Eugopatamia... MY NAME'S MARK.
Crimson Chin Action Figure: Evil redheads make boy bands say "Ewww."
Dad Turner: Timmy... I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway.
Wanda: He thinks everything is funny. Watch.
[turns to Cosmo]
Wanda: Pudding.
Cosmo: HAHAHAHA. She said pud and then she said ding.
Timmy Turner: May I *please* have my ball back?
Dr. Bender: What's the word I'm looking for? Uh... NO! HAHAHA
Mayor: I hate not being the goat.
Principal Waxelplax: CROCKER!
Timmy Turner: [being embraced by Vicky] Urk... Oxygen... Darkness...
Cosmo: That's wiggity-wiggity-wack!
Wanda: That's wiggity-wiggity-WHAT?
Denzel Crocker: YES! YES!
Mrs. Crocker: Denzel, can you scrub mommy's feet?
Denzel Crocker: YES, I mean NO!
Wanda: [chasing Vicky through space] The force is strong with this one.
Cosmo: Luke, I am your father. I always wanted to say that.
Mom Turner Hand Puppet: [talking to Dad Turner] I think you're being too hard on Timmy.
Timmy Turner: No amount of therapy will ever make this moment okay.
[after going back in time]
Timmy Turner: Cool! We're in the Middle Ages!
Cosmo: Look! I'm middle aged!
[Poofs into a middle aged man]
Cosmo: YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!
[after going back in time]
Timmy: Cool! We're in the Middle Ages!
Cosmo: Look! I'm middle aged!
[Poofs into a middle aged man]
Cosmo: YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!
Wanda: Look at our chart. 99.9% Timmy. 0.01% Other.
Timmy Turner: What's the other?
Cosmo: Timmy!
Timmy Turner: It's educational, and violent. But mostly violent. YEAH! Violence
A.J.: My mom packed me spinach. She wants me to have a healthy colon. What did your mom pack you?
Timmy Turner: Candy!... And violence!
Dad Turner: [Mr. Turner is being eaten by a dragon] It looks and feels like I'm getting real third degree burns!
Ow! I mean, neat!
Vicky: All right twerp, time for bed!
Timmy Turner: But it's only six-o-four!
Vicky: Well, it's nine-o-four on the East Coast. BED!
[one moment later, in Timmy's bedroom, Timmy's clock
changes to six-o-five]
Cosmo: Now it's nine-o-five on the East Coast!
[after Timmy wishes that Cosmo and Wanda switch genders]
Cosmo: [offscreen in the bathroom-Cosmo falls in the toilet] Ahh! Would it *kill* ya to leave the lid down?
Wanda: Would it *kill* ya to look before ya sit?
Denzel Crocker: [Principal Waxelplax has locked everyone inside the classroom] No! I can't be locked in a room with
children! I'm not a people person! I'm barely a person!
[ducks behind his desk]
Denzel Crocker: HELP!
Denzel Crocker: Stupid two bit room! Stupid two bit van! Stupid two bit life!
Mrs. Crocker: Denzel! Would you like your stupid two bit dessert? I made your stupid two bit favorite!
Denzel Crocker: Look up in the sky! Is it a D? Is it an E? No! It's Super F!
Jorgen von Strangle: You have failed in your responsibility as fairy godparents!
Wanda: So what? It's just a stupid inspection! You wanna send us back to the fairy academy, fine! But right now Timmy needs
our help!
[Wanda poofs away and Jorgan glares at Cosmo]
Cosmo: Don't kill me!
Denzel Crocker: Curse this obsolete one month old technology!
Wanda: Awwwww, Goat Love!
Cosmo: They say it's the most honest love around.
Mark Chang's Father: [about to let Mark stay with Vicky and is scared by timmy eating a flower] I-I mean no son! You can't.
She's not where we're from!
Vicky: You mean Europe?
Mark Chang's Father: [silence] Oookayyyyy.
Mark Chang's Father: [about to let Mark stay with Vicky and is scared by Timmy eating a flower] I- I mean no, son! You
can't. She's not where we're from!
Vicky: You mean Europe?
Mark Chang's Father: [silence] Oookayyyyy.
Cosmo: All right! Two wishes for Cosmo, none for Wanda! I'm on fire, baby!
Timmy Turner: [after being poofed back to the 1970s] In the future, there will be 500 TV channels.
Young
Dad Turner: Far out!
Timmy Turner: But nothing to watch!
Young Dad Turner: NOOOOOO!
[Timmy has just wished he had no emotions whatsoever]
Wanda: So, sport, how do you feel?
Timmy Turner: I do not.
Jorgen von Strangle: What in the name of my bulging tripceps is going on?
Jorgen von Strangle: For failing to distract the dragon, the handsome fairy loses! However, he is still very sexy.
Wandisimo: This I can live with.
Tootie: Why can't you give my love a chance?
Tootie: I'm so wet you can't even tell how much I'm crying!
Timmy Turner: It'll be our little secret... of LOOOOOOVE!
Tootie: Oh, TIMMY!
[Cosmo has gotten breast implants]
Cosmo: I'm keeping them.
Timmy Turner: Awesome- boys fighting over me!
Wanda: [Wanda is reading a book in the "All Men are Morons" section of the library] Oh, Hillary! How did
you put up with it?
Mom Turner: You just need to be more secure in your masculinity - like me.
Crimson Chin Action Figure: I'm totally into the idea of you giving me to Tootie. That way, she'll always have a piece of you to smother and choke.
Timmy Turner: That's an oddly specific action phrase.
Cosmo: I don't get it. If you're not married to her, is she trying to kill you?
Norm the Genie: Seriously, have you ever *talked* to a girl?
Norm the Genie: [regarding Mr. Crocker's appearance] That... thing on your neck. Is that your ear?
Chip Skylark: [about to faint] Tuesday's... apple sauce... day...
Timmy Turner: Feel better now?
Chip Skylark: Yeah. I didn't have to go to the bathroom, but the sound of flushing calms me down.
Dad Turner: Yay, I'm unemployed!
Dad Turner: It's deserted and lonely, just like my childhood!
Nega-Chin: Adam West's waistband!
Comicbook Writer: I hope it's my new issue of Geeks Who Live With Their Mothers Monthly!
Wanda: Timmy, you can't have both brains and brawn. You have to pick just one.
Cosmo: Or do what I did. Pick neither.
Timmy Turner: [after wishing something bad would happen to Chip, which turned out to be being held hostage by Vicky]
Sorry about all this, Chip.
Chip Skylark: That's all right, little pal. It's not like you wished for this to happen.
Timmy Turner: It's fun and destructive. It's funstructive.
Dad Turner: [to Mom Turner getting her vegetables ready] Hurry, honey! The judges are judging and the Dinkelburgs
are Dinkelburging!
Denzel Crocker: Hey, Turner exploded! That's one less mouth to teach!
Young Dad Turner: Well, her real name is
[a Mack truck, blowing its horn drives by Timmy and Young
Dad]
Young Dad Turner: but everybody calls her Mom.
Cosmo: Apparently, another thing I'm chock-full of is not knowing stuff.
[Cosmo and Wanda are posing as Timmy's parents and are attending a parent teacher conference. Mr. Crocker brings
out an electric chair to determine whether they are fairies or humans]
Denzel Crocker: May I offer you a chair?
Cosmo: Sure! May I offer you a fish?
[Cosmo gives Mr.Crocker the fish. Crocker slips and falls backwards
into the electric chair with the fish]
Cosmo: Fish sticks!
Denzel Crocker: I'll be right back after I chip off the dead skin.
[Mr.Crocker gives Cosmo and Wanda coffee. The two of them start acting hyper and jump up and down]
Cosmo: This coffee is great!
[shouts]
Cosmo: Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Where do they get this stuff?
Denzel Crocker: Columbia.
Wanda: Oh! We should go there!
Chester McBadbat: You replaced me with an actor with better teeth!
A.J.: And more hair!
Sanjay: And a well-oiled chest!
[pause]
Sanjay: What? Am I the only one who noticed?
Timmy Turner: I'm huge, I hurt people, and I'm misunderstood!
Cosmo: Just like the IRS!
Mom Turner: Losing our son was the best thing to ever happen to us!
Dad Turner: We have a son?
Timmy Turner: If I don't make it out of here... tell my dad... he's weird.
Cosmo: [after fairy world blows up] I regret nothing!
Cosmo: What's wrong with being naked in public?
Trixie Tang: He's so unfeeling! That makes him cool.
Jorgen von Strangle: It's time for some fairy-oke!
Announcer: [to Timmy, who is dressed in costume] You might want to take off the maid outfit; it's
pretty creepy.
Cosmo: [Cosmo as gelatin] Gaze into my jiggly goodness and see the artificial falsehood of your words.
[angrily]
Dad Turner: Oooh... Dinkelburgs!
Jorgen von Strangle: [Cosmo and Wanda have just passed their fairy examination by delaying Jorgen for a long time] Your
delaying tactics were obviously part of your overall presentation. Very impressive, highly original.
[shouts]
Jorgen von Strangle: Don't do it again!
Tom Sawyer: As they say in Missouri, I ain't goin' back to Missouri!
Sanjay: [dazed look at Timmy, as if he was coming onto him] I'll see you in my next dream.
The Crimson Chin: That's adorable. Justice makes it giggle!
Timmy Turner: Man, that was one tough montage.
Cosmo: Oh, relax, Timmy. She'll probably stop laughing when that alien flower you gave her eats her heart out at midnight.
Cosmo: The good news is I found my spleen!
Timmy Turner: That's a rare steak.
Cosmo: In that case, I'm taking it back. I ordered my spleen medium rare.
Wandisimo: Principles, much like my biceps, are muy bonito.
Cosmo: Don't forget the rabies! Everything tastes better with rabies!
Crimson Chin Action Figure: There's trouble afoot - I mean, a-chin!
Wanda: You don't think...?
Cosmo: I never think!
Cosmo: [in Spanish class] Itengo un puerco en mis shortis!
Wanda: What? You got a hog in your shorts?
Vicky: I don't mean to be mean all the time. It's just that I really am.
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